Let's chat 2021 goals

We did it, we have got through the first week of 2021! 

I know that sounds rather dramatic but I feel a sense of relief and yet a sense of motivation at the idea that I have got through this week. 

In the past, when a new year hit it felt like a new start and I would feel motivated and ready for what the new year was to bring with goals and aspirations ready to go.  But this year I did not and have never felt more unlike myself and anxious going into the new year.  

These past 7 days have been a real struggle for me as I don't know why but I really thought this year the madness would be over and things would go back to being relatively normal. But they didn't and everything seemed to hit me like a tone of bricks.  I am still not able to see my family, go round for tea, playing games and giving them a hug.  My job has changed and may not go back for a while. My routine is constantly changing with the christmas break, working from home and last minute changes due to the virus. I felt so unmotivated and just wanted to stay in bed with most evenings crying behind closed doors. 

After a pep talk on the phone with my family and my boyfriend being a real rock, I began to feel better towards the end of this week.  I feel more like myself and ready to take on the new year.  I realised that I had to take a step back, focus on one thing at a time and breathe.  There were a few things that got me out of the January blues including a few quotes: 

"I know your sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day.  Instead I simply advise you to 'have a day.'  Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes and don't give up on yourself just yet.  It'll be better soon.  Untill then, have a day." - Unkonwn.

From this, I learnt you do not need to be happy and motivated all the time, infact I think it is quite impossible and that is okay.  It is okay to not be okay.  You don't need to rush into anything and can do things when you are ready.

"Don't forget, you are human.  It's okay to have a meltdown.  Just don't unpack and live there.  Cry it out and refocus on where you are headed." - Hoda Kotb

I hate felling down and negative.  Especially infront of other people as I don't want to be a debbie downer and bring everyone down. So, I would bottle it up and I think it all got ontop of me and I cracked. Although at times I didn't know when it would end and felt rubbish that these negative feelings wouldn't go away, it felt good to have a good cry and I did feel better after a few days.  I am so lucky I have such an amazing boyfriend who was there to comfort me and my family to reassure me everything was going to be okay. 

Now I have had my meltdown, I feel ready to take on the year, one step at a time.  With that being said I wanted to share my goals for this year.  I have said in the past that I don't put pressure on myself to achieve these and try not to make them too specific as I have found that has worked for me.  So, I intend to do that this year too as I set the following goals/aspirations: 

• Enjoy every moment - If this year has taught me anything it is this. Embrace every hug, savour every last word and simply enjoy every minute.

• Keep fit - I really enjoyed fitness last year both running and going the gyms when allowed.  I feel it did wonders for my mental health too, so I want to keep this going this year.  I also have the added and more specific goal within this to run 10 miles.

• Continue to grow my blog - I have absolutely loved my blogging/ instagram platform and everything that has come with it. I have met some amazing people and found a real comfort in it.  It has allowed me to be creative, express myself and have fun and I hope this hobby continues to grow. 

• Stick to a skin care routine - I have said a few times I want to have a good skincare routine and I always seem to start well then stop.  So, I am setting this goal again in the hope that I stick to it.  I got a few new skincare bits for christmas and I can't wait to try them!

I have a few more personal aspirations that I would prefer to keep to myself but right now I am happy with the goals I have set and who knows, as the year goes on I may change them or think of more.  

I hope you enjoyed this post and I hope you are all doing okay in light of everything going on right now. If you ever need to chat please leave a comment or my inbox is open on my Instagram. 

Going back to uni - How I really feel

Going back to uni should be something students look forward to. You get to see all of your friends, decorate your uni room, experience new things and learn more – exciting right!

But this isn’t always the case. I have told myself that I want to be honest with these blog posts, so I can look back on them and see how I really felt. Although these things are different for everyone, I hope it will help some of you get a better picture of what these things were, and are like for me. So, that is what I am going to do with this post on how I really feel going back to uni this year.

When going back to university for second year, I was excited to see my housemates and course mates having spent the summer going through all of the memories captured on photo and video. I was looking forward to getting back into cheerleading again, after trying to keep up my training over the summer around work. I couldn’t wait to learn more and take the next step to my career. I would also take another step into the life of adulthood as I moved from student accommodation into a house!

However, I knew second year would come with its challenges. I was no longer a first year, meaning my grades meant something more towards my final percentage. The work load would increase and the difficulty level would rise. I also knew a house would come with its own challenges.

Looking back, I’d say I was more excited than nervous to start second year, hoping it would be as amazing as my first year at university.

If I’m being 100% honest, second year for me was challenging. I soon found that things were quite a lot different from first year in many ways. Friendships had changed, family had changed, the course was a lot harder than I thought and I faced more challenges that came with adulthood. I’m sure I will talk about each of these in more detail someday.

I don’t want to be a Debby downer and say it was horrendous, because that wouldn’t be true. But, I would say it was very different to my first year in many aspects and it took me completely off guard. I did have some amazing memories as I did more work experience within the events industry, had some crazy nights out and had great fun competing with the best cheer squad I could ever ask for. However, if I’m being honest I’d say there were more negatives than my first year.

As a result of this, I found over the past week I have made myself very nervous and anxious about going back to university for my third and final year. I have been worried about how friendships may have changed again or how much harder the course will be. I have the pressure of job hunting on my shoulders also, with the idea people are expecting me to get a job in the events industry straight away. I was worried that it may be like second year and that I won’t enjoy it as much as I would like to...

That is when I realised what my problem was when moving from one year to the next. I am comparing it too much to the year before. I have realised now that every year is different. It was at school, college and now university. So my advice to you (and to myself) is this:

Yes, things will get harder and people will grow and change, but these things should just be accepted and embraced. Don’t dwell on the past, make new memories and save the old ones instead of trying to re-create them. Take every day as it comes, they may not all be great but that is part of life and growing up.

Now, having been at uni for a few days, I am looking forward to getting started and creating new memories. I am just going to live my life how I want and try not to let others people opinions on that get in the way. I am going to try and think positive for the future and for this year as much as I can. I know it may be hard at times. But, if you surround yourself with those you love, and do the things you want to do, then good things will come in the end.